the cool sheen of nihilism
ain't really that cool
Beneath the cool sheen of nihilism, there is fear.
Some may have come to despair honestly, through a diligent examination of current trends. Others are simply afraid of appearing vulnerable, corny, or unpolished. They appreciate the responses their nihilism provokes, the shock, the sense that they are real as fuck or dark and mysterious.
Maybe they are right.
Maybe humanity is inherently evil, selfish and insatiably greedy. Maybe the cruel who escape earthly punishment, escape all punishment. Maybe there is no hope of compassionate governance, of a sustainable future, of political harmony.
It is important to consider these dark possibilities. Ignoring them disconnects hope from reality.
Yet embracing them fully is the product of arrogance and privilege.
We do not know the future, we cannot judge humanity from our limited perspective, and the present is full of mundane beauty and goodness.
The sound of distant voices, laughter in the stairwell, rain on the roof. The play of light on water, dust in the wind, feeling on lips. Pleasures free for all, the only pleasures some will ever know.
When we embrace nihilism, we blind ourselves to these pleasures and to the possibility of the ever-greater pleasures of connection and healing. For if we believe that humanity is inherently evil, if we do not believe in trust or love, we will not be trusted or loved. And if we believe that the future is totally fucked, hopeless, we will not resist the fucked-ness in our present, and our future will be fucked.
In my experience, few people embrace the extremes of these views, but many indulge a taste. It can feel like relief, like we don’t have to try so hard. When they pop up in my mind now, as they often do, or when someone else speaks them, I do not argue. I look for the fear underneath. The plea for help, for some reason to believe they aren’t true.
It is okay to be frightened, to feel despair, or apathy. But when you are ready, listen closely, humbly, and you will see the nobility with which people all around you, everywhere, everyday, suffer and struggle and continue, with the tender hope of true bravery, true coolness.